BƯỚC ĐI TRƯỚC MẶT CHÚA TRONG SỰ TỰ DO NỘI TÂM

Khi Chúa nói với Abraham: “Hãy bước đi trước mặt Ta và hãy sống hoàn hảo”[1] là Chúa đã muốn cho ông đi vào con đường hoàn thiện, con đường của “lời hứa”, chuẩn bị cho một Giao Ước sẽ được ký kết. Con đường này không phải do Abraham chọn lựa hay sắp xếp, bởi khi đó theo sắp xếp khôn ngoan loài người, Abraham đã có một người con trai với nữ tỳ Agar[2]. Nhưng đường lối của Thiên Chúa thì khác xa…, từng bước Abraham đi vào đường lối đó và bước đi trước mặt Người với cả tự do và lòng vâng phục mặc dù không hiểu gì. Chính sự không hiểu nổi này đã khiến cho hành vi của ông là một hành vi của đức tin, của lòng tín thác và của một con tim được giải phóng, một con tim hoàn toàn tự do, không còn bị ràng buộc bởi bất cứ thành kiến, quan điểm, dư luận, đam mê hay nỗi sợ hãi nào. Và đây chính là đặc điểm của tình yêu: bước đi trước mặt Chúa trong sự tự do nội tâm.
Thực vậy, khi nhận lệnh truyền của Chúa: “Hãy bước đi trước mặt Ta…”, Abraham đã được đổi tên từ Abram thành Abraham, ông đã trút bỏ gánh nặng và mặc cảm quá khứ, buông bỏ những lo lắng tính toán nhân loại để bước vào chặng đường mới, một chặng đường “bước đi trước mặt Chúa” hoàn toàn thanh thản với tự do nội tâm. Niềm tin và tình yêu nơi Abraham từng ngày sẽ lớn dần lên với niềm xác tín đầy kiên vững, để rồi không một thử thách nào có thể phá đổ hay dập tắt, để rồi ông trở thành cha của những kẻ tin, trở thành biểu tượng của lòng tin.
Như với Abraham, Thiên Chúa cũng có chương trình riêng cho từng người chúng ta và Người mời gọi chúng ta cộng tác để thực hiện chương trình ấy. Bước vào hành trình theo Chúa là chúng ta chấp nhận bước vào kế hoạch của Người trong suốt cuộc đời. Những thăng trầm theo năm tháng, theo tuổi đời, khiến chúng ta gặp nhiều khó khăn và thử thách trong hành trình của mình. Hơn nữa, “Cuộc đời thánh hiến đòi buộc chúng ta phải nỗ lực mỗi ngày, để có thể trung tín với Giao ước tình yêu trong sự mỏng dòn yếu đuối của bản thân. Vì thế chúng ta cần ý thức tầm quan trọng của việc tự đào tạo chính mình, qua hướng dẫn của Hiến luật, qua kỷ luật cá nhân. Ngoài ra, chúng ta hiểu rằng, những yêu sách của đời thánh hiến đã được chúng ta tự do chọn lựa và đáp trả, vì thế cần được đón nhận một cách tự nguyện với tất cả tự do nội tâm và lòng yêu mến [3]”.
Để thực sự bước đi trước mặt Chúa, bước đi trong đường lối Chúa, cụ thể là bước đi theo hướng dẫn của luật Dòng với tất cả tự do nội tâm, chúng ta cần được hướng dẫn bởi đức tin và được thúc đẩy bởi lòng mến.
1. Bước đi trước mặt Chúa, một hành vi đức tin
“Bước đi trước mặt Chúa” trước tiên là hành vi của đức tin, hành vi đầu tiên giúp chúng ta đi vào con đường nên thánh, nên hoàn thiện. Để bước đi trước mặt Chúa chúng ta cần phải tin, bởi Thiên Chúa là Đấng vô hình, chúng ta chẳng thấy Người, chúng ta chỉ cảm nhận được Người xuyên qua bức màn tăm tối của đức tin. Bởi vậy, chúng ta cần tôi luyện và tập sống đức tin trong mọi tình huống của cuộc đời. Tin Chúa hiện diện giúp chúng ta nghiêm túc hơn trong mối tương quan với Chúa, với tha nhân; giúp chúng ta trung tín hơn với những bổn phận và kỷ luật đời thánh hiến; giúp chúng ta nhiệt thành và dấn thân hơn trong sứ vụ.
Nhiều bậc thầy trong khoa linh hướng gọi “Tập sống trước nhan thánh Chúa” là nền tảng của đời sống thiêng liêng, mà đức tin là bậc thang thứ nhất để bước vào đời sống thiêng liêng.
– Thánh Alphonso xác quyết: “Việc sống trước mặt Chúa là một phương thế giúp linh hồn thăng tiến đời sống thiêng liêng qua 3 bước: khử trừ tội lỗi, làm sao linh hồn có thể phạm tội trong khi biết Chúa đang đứng trước mặt mình? Sống trước mặt Chúa, linh hồn sẽ cố gắng làm mọi việc cách hoàn hảo nhất; và sống trước mặt Chúa linh hồn sẽ sung sướng truyện trò thân mật với Chúa”.
– Thánh Tôma Tiến sĩ dạy: “Nếu luôn tin rằng Chúa đang ở trước mặt và Người hằng trông thấy mọi sự, thì hầu như không bao giờ, và có thể nói chắc chắn là không bao giờ ta dám phạm tội. Tại sao người ta phạm vô số tội ác? Là vì người ta quên Chúa ở trước mặt mình”.
– Thánh Têrêsa Avila nói: “Hết các sự dữ xảy ra đều do quên Chúa trước mặt và tưởng Chúa ở xa xôi”.
– Đức cha Tổ Phụ với kinh nghiệm thiêng liêng, ngài đã nhắn nhủ con cái về việc luôn bước đi trước mặt Chúa và ngài xác định đó là hành vi của đức tin: “Ta đi đâu, ở đâu, ta cũng hằng nhớ Chúa ở trước mặt… Ta ở đâu cũng giữ nết na, dù không ai thấy ta cũng bảo mình có Chúa thấy, nên ta không hề liều mình ăn ở cách nào bất xứng, ấy là ở theo đức tin”[4].
Quả thực, nếu chúng ta biết bước đi trước tôn nhan Chúa thì chúng ta sẽ không lạc đường; bước đi trước mặt Chúa dưới cái nhìn của Chúa, chúng ta sẽ bình an không lo lắng sợ hãi; bước đi trước sự hiện diện của Chúa, chúng ta sẽ thận trọng hơn trong việc tuân giữ kỷ luật, nỗ lực sống tốt hơn mỗi ngày. Việc tuân giữ luật là thước đo tình yêu, là dấu chỉ giúp chúng ta nhận ra mình đang sống theo Thần Khí hay theo xác thịt, bởi “yêu mến Thiên Chúa là tuân giữ các điều răn của Người”[5].
2. Bước đi trước mặt Chúa, một hành vi tình yêu
Đức Thánh Cha Phanxicô xác quyết: “Để có thể trở nên công chính thánh thiện như Thiên Chúa mong muốn, chúng ta phải sống khiêm nhượng trong sự hiện diện của Người; được bao bọc trong vinh quang của Người, chúng ta phải đi tới sự hiệp nhất với Người và nhận ra Tình Yêu bất biến của Người trong cuộc sống chúng ta. Chúng ta phải vứt bỏ sự sợ hãi trước sự hiện diện của Người, tức sự hiện diện chỉ có thể làm cho chúng ta nên tốt. Thiên Chúa Cha là Đấng đã ban sự sống cho chúng ta, và Người rất mực yêu thương chúng ta. Nếu chúng ta không giữ khoảng cách với Thiên Chúa nữa, nhưng trái lại, sống trong sự hiện diện của Người, thì chúng ta sẽ có thể để cho Người thẩm tra con tim của chúng ta để biết xem, liệu con tim ấy có đang đi trên đường ngay nẻo chính hay không. Và như thế chúng ta sẽ nhận ra thánh ý đầy yêu thương và trọn hảo của Thiên Chúa. Chúng ta vẫn thường nói rằng, Thiên Chúa cư ngụ trong chúng ta, nhưng sẽ là điều tốt hơn nếu nói rằng, chúng ta cư ngụ trong Người, Người cho phép chúng ta sống trong ánh sáng và trong Tình Yêu của Người”[6].
Ơn gọi thánh hiến là một lời mời gọi yêu thương từ Thiên Chúa và chúng ta đã tự do đáp trả qua giao ước tình yêu mà mỗi người chúng ta đã ký kết với Chúa khi tuyên khấn. Một giao ước đòi buộc phải trung tín! Vì vậy khi chúng ta trung thành giữ kỷ luật đời thánh hiến là chúng ta đang thực thi sự tự do của mình với tất cả trách nhiệm và tình yêu.
– Giữ luật vì lòng mến: khi có tình yêu, mọi lề luật sẽ trở nên nhẹ nhàng, và việc giữ luật của chúng ta sẽ trở nên dễ dàng và đạt giá trị lớn lao. Như vậy, để giữ luật một cách trọn hảo, chúng ta phải giữ vì lòng yêu mến. Lòng yêu mến phải là động lực để làm mọi việc, nhất là việc tuân giữ lề luật. Đức Cha Tổ Phụ cũng nhấn mạnh: mỗi khi toan làm việc gì thì hãy thầm thĩ cùng Chúa rằng: “Lạy Chúa con xin làm việc này vì lòng mến Chúa”. Khi gặp sự gì khốn khó cực phiền cũng vậy, hãy than rằng: “Con xin chịu sự khó này vì lòng mến Chúa”[7].
Về điểm này, chúng ta thấy ngay từ lời tựa của bộ Giáo Luật, Giáo Hội đã đưa ra những tiêu chí chung cho 1752 khoản luật viết trong đó. Tiêu chí đó là: “Để chăm sóc các linh hồn, không chỉ là thực thi đức công bằng, nhưng luôn phải dành chỗ cho đức ái, tiết độ, nhân đạo… Vì thế, các mục tử nên loại bỏ các khoản quá cứng ngắc. Hơn nữa, mỗi khi không cần những khoản luật nhằm phục vụ công ích và kỷ luật chung của Giáo Hội, chỉ nên sử dụng lời khuyên hay khuyến cáo mà thôi”.
– Mọi luật lệ đều quy về Đức Ái: tất cả mọi lề luật đều nhắm tới thực thi đức ái. Chúa Giêsu đã xác định: Thầy đến không phải là để bãi bỏ, nhưng là để kiện toàn lề luật. Chúa kiện toàn bằng cách thổi vào lề luật tinh thần của lòng mến. Thánh Phaolô khẳng định: “yêu mến là chu toàn lề luật”[8].
Quả thực, cốt lõi của lề luật là Đức Ái. Việc giữ luật một cách cứng nhắc, câu nệ, vụ hình thức hoặc ngược lại tìm cách né tránh hay lách luật chẳng bao giờ đưa đến sự hoàn thiện, mà chỉ khiến chúng ta trở thành nô lệ cho lề luật, thái độ đó bộc lộ sự yếu đuối, bất toàn bất trung của chúng ta. Chúa Giêsu đã đến để kiện toàn lề luật bằng một tình yêu lớn nhất, bằng tự nguyện hiến dâng và đi đến cùng của lề luật tức đi đến cùng của tình yêu: hủy mình ra không và chấp nhận chết ô nhục trên thánh giá. Do đó, điều kiện làm cho việc giữ luật nên trọn hảo là tự do và tình yêu[9].
3. Bước đi trước mặt Chúa trong sự tự do nội tâm
Bước đi trước mặt Chúa chính là bước đi trong ánh sáng, trong lề luật của Người. Tự do không lôi kéo chúng ta ra khỏi lề luật của Chúa, chính Chúa Giêsu đã quả quyết: “Thầy đến không phải để hủy bỏ lề luật, nhưng để kiện toàn. Thầy bảo thật, trước khi trời đất qua đi, thì một chấm một phết trong lề luật sẽ không qua đi”[10]. Chúa Giêsu đã mặc cho lề luật cũ một tinh thần mới, đó là chiều kích nội tâm với sự tự do đích thực. Tuân thủ lề luật một cách cứng ngắc và vụ hình thức sẽ giết chết chúng ta, nhưng trong tự do của Thần Khí, chúng ta sẽ không còn bị ràng buộc bởi những chuyện phù phiếm và lối sống trần tục, mà sống công chính, bình an và hoan lạc trong Thánh Thần.
Giữ luật với một tâm hồn tự do khiến chúng ta được giải thoát, không còn nô lệ cho chính mình, cho những đam mê bất chính, cho lối sống ích kỷ và thỏa mãn những sở thích cá nhân nữa, nhưng trở thành con cái tự do của Thiên Chúa. Khi đó, khi mà con tim chúng ta hoàn toàn tự do, thì lề luật không còn áp đặt trên chúng ta nữa, lề luật sẽ trở thành người bạn tốt ở bên cạnh để nâng đỡ khi chúng ta yếu đuối, để nhắc nhở khi chúng ta quên sót và hướng dẫn chúng ta làm điều thiện. Lề luật chính là con đường chắc chắn và bảo đảm nhất dẫn đưa chúng ta đến nguồn mạch Đức Ái là chính Thiên Chúa.
Theo thánh Augustinô, đức ái là trọng tâm của mọi lề luật. Nhờ thực thi lòng mến, chúng ta sống trong niềm vui ơn cứu thoát và tiến bước theo Chúa trong thân phận thụ tạo mỏng giòn của mình. Chính lúc tự do cam kết theo sát Chúa Giêsu, chúng ta sống luật tự do yêu thương. Hãy xem việc giữ những quy định chung là cơ hội giúp chúng ta sống vị tha. Việc uốn mình trong một khuôn phép kỷ luật cũng thể hiện một nhân cách trưởng thành, một tâm hồn khiêm hạ, và một nội tâm đầy tự do với điều thiện. Vì “tự do là khả năng làm điều thiện”, mà chúng ta chỉ thực sự tự do khi ta biết “tự ràng buộc mình” với Đấng Chân Thiện Mỹ.
Sách Gương Chúa Giêsu cũng khẳng định: ai bước đi trước mặt Ta trong chân lý họ sẽ được gìn giữ khỏi sự dữ tấn công, và chân lý sẽ giải thoát họ khỏi những tên lừa gạt và khỏi bị người độc ác vu khống. Vì nếu chân lý đã giải thoát chúng ta, thì chúng ta thực sự tự do, và chúng ta sẽ không màng gì đến những lời phù phiếm của người đời[11].
4. Kết luận
Để bước đi trước mặt Chúa trong sự tự do nội tâm chúng ta cần đức tin và lòng mến. Hai nhân đức này giúp cho chúng ta tiến bước một cách nhẹ nhàng và mau chóng trên con đường hoàn thiện. Bước đi trước mặt Chúa chính là bước đi trong lề luật của Người, trong thánh ý Người. Chính lề luật sẽ dẫn đưa chúng ta bước đi trên chính lộ, không sợ lạc đường. Bước đi ngoài kỷ luật, chúng ta sẽ mất phương hướng và lang thang vô định, chẳng bao giờ đến đích.
Việc giữ luật một cách tự nguyện với lòng yêu mến làm cho con tim chúng ta được giải thoát, hoàn toàn tự do để yêu mến và đi vào kế hoạch của thiên Chúa. Chúng ta có đủ can đảm và lòng tín thác để buông bỏ kế hoạch cá nhân để đi theo kế hoạch của Người không? Tình yêu của chúng ta có lớn đủ để dành cho Người một chỗ nhất trong chọn lựa của mình không?
GỢI Ý THỰC HÀNH: Tập sống trước sự hiện diện của Chúa
Thực hành sống trước sự hiện diện của Chúa giúp ích rất nhiều cho việc cầu nguyện và nên thánh; vì bằng cách đó, chúng ta ngăn ngừa tâm trí suốt ngày đi lang thang để giữ nó lại gần bên Thiên Chúa, ngăn ngừa bước chân chúng ta rời xa kỷ luật, lời khấn và nhất là rời xa chính Thiên Chúa.
Năm bước mà Đức Cha Tổ Phụ nêu lên giúp chị em sống trước tôn nhan Chúa[12]:
1) Nhìn xem Chúa: lấy đức tin mà trông xem Chúa ở trước mặt ta luôn. Ta ở đâu, ta làm gì, thì hằng có Chúa ở bên ta như một bạn nghĩa thiết.
2) Nghe Chúa truyền: hằng chăm chỉ nghe lời Chúa dạy bảo, ngăn cấm qua nhiều cách thế.
3) Mến yêu: ta phải năng giục lòng mến yêu Chúa, và xin Chúa đốt lửa kính mến Chúa trong lòng ta, năng dùng những lời nguyện tắt mà xin sự ấy.
4) Tưởng nhớ: Thường mến thương ai, thì năng tưởng nhớ đến kẻ ấy. Nếu ta năng giục lòng mến Chúa, tức nhiên ta cũng năng nhắc trí nhớ đến Chúa trong mọi việc ta làm.
5) Cầu nguyện thở than: mỗi lần nhớ đến Chúa, thì hoặc là cầu nguyện, hoặc là thở than cùng Chúa với những lời nguyện tắt.
Nt. M. Gaudentia Xuân Huệ, FMSR.
[1] St 17,1
[2] x. St 16, 1-15 [3] Thư chung TCH XXIII, 15 [4] GSD I, 221[5] 1Ga 5, 3
[6] TH Gaudete et Exsultate, 51 [7] GSD I, 220 [8] Rm 13, 10 [9] Thư chung TCH XXIII, 44 [10] Mt 5, 17-18 [11] Gương Chúa Giêsu, chương IV [12] GSD I, 250-251
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